It’s time we get uncomfortable.
Here is a time, recently when I allowed myself to be uncomfortable.
I was walking through a tall field of dying grass with my dog, Izzee and found a place to lie down. I thought I would be protected from the wet ground by lying on an area of flattened grass. I was mistaken, the wetness of the ground came through in places. I stayed there anyway.
As I lie there taking in the sacred vibrations of the land my eye glimpses a small spider a little in the distance closest to me feet. I let it be.
I few moments later my owl eye catches movement above me, this time closest to me head. Above me were a few outstretched pieces of tall grass. On one of those stalks was also a little bigger spider hanging down from a string of web making his way back up to the stalk. This was a little too close for me…but I found the courage to stay.
You see, being near a spider (that I can see) has always been a place of fear and anxiety for me – no matter the size. When caught off guard you will hear me shriek and sometimes even scream like a little girl and even run to other side of the room or opposite direction. I don’t really know why or where that fear came from per se. I just know it’s there.
It’s funny though, people who know that about me have asked how I can spend so much time in the woods hiking, camping, etc. Well, I don’t go through life constantly thinking about spiders, wondering where they are or any of the what if’s. I live my life and react, yes react, only when I see a spider.
I have been known to do the limbo mid stride of a trail run when I see a spider in a web across the trail. Plus, when I am the first one on a trail – meaning the webs have yet to be cleared – I will carry a stick or have the person I am with lead the way 🙂
I have worked at lessing my anxiety towards spiders. After living alone for a while one has to gather up the courage to sit in that discomfort, to build the strength to remove spiders from one’s home or space. I have accepted that spiders exist and they have every right to. And I think spiders are interesting and amazing creatures, I just don’t want them on me or near me.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to be uncomfortable? How did it feel during and after? What did you learn?